Valentines Day at Shinra
by ODSTAnimeWings
Summary: What happens when you get Valentines Day and Shinra mixed?  You get Chaos, destruction and over all Comedy.  ODSTAnimeWings bring you yet another funny holiday one shot.   warning some possible OCCness Read,Review, and Enjoy!


**Crystal and Wings: Hey guys! *both are obviously hyped up on sugar* **

**Everlasting is on the ground knocked out while Rose is happily eating chocolate***

**Rose: Hiya**

**Darkness: Hmm you seem to be very happy today**

**Rose: So?**

**Wings: of course!**

**Darkness: Just pointing stuff out**

**Crystal: its Valentines Day!**

**Rose: Did you know that Everlastings Valentines to Genesis came back. in pieces?**

**Shakira walks past with much candy* I brought candy **

***Everlasting shoots up* CANDY!**

***Shakira holds out the bag not wanting to get attacked***

***Crystal tackles Shakira trying to get the candy* **

***Darkness manages to pull Shakira out of the pile* Okay they are too sugar happy today**

**Wings: anyway! Today is Valentines Day or otherwise known as Vincent's day!**

***Everlasting blinks looking at the package at the door. She looks at the tag. It's from Sephiroth. She opens it to find Ashes of valentine cards. She falls over with a sob***

**Rose: there she goes again**

**Wings: *blinks***

**Darkness: what happened?**

**Rose: Sephiroth sent back the valentines from her in ashes**

**Wings: *slings her arms around the shoulders of Reno and Axel* yeah **

**cus she and every other hormonal teenage fan girl have sent him one**

**Darkness shakes her head* I don't think I even sent out Valentine cards**

**Shakira: I don't think I did either**

**Wings: I never really have **

***Rose watches another Package pop up out of nowhere. She reads it and opens it.* Rose: Apparently Riku sent Everlasting valentines**

**Wings: *smiles when both Reno and axel give her valentines***

**Darkness sits down on a couch* so are we going to let people read the story now?**

**Wings: yeah we probably should I'll say it **

***Rose turns and marches to a box. She pulls out a bunch of valentines and hands them to Darkness* Rose: Your valentines are here, Darkness**

***Darkness spites out water she was drinking* My What Came?**

**Rose: Your bishes have been sending them**

**Wings: *is laughing* while we work this out why don't you read the fanfic I wrote **

**Darkness walks over to Rose* Let me see**

**Wings: We own nothing other then our characters and ideas**

***Picks up the Whole box of Valentines and hands them to Darkness* Rose: See?**

**

* * *

**It was Valentines Day once again and the three first classes were hiding from their fan clubs. Zack of course was with them as they couldn't risk him finding them himself and leading all the fan clubs to them as well. Currently they were parked in the air vent over Sephiroth's office and it was pretty crammed to tell the truth.

"OW! Zack quite elbowing me!"

"But I'm not elbowing anyone Genesis!"

"Then whose elbowing me?"

"That might be me Genesis"

"Sephiroth I know you had bony elbows but not this bony. If you wouldn't mind shifting like 3 inches to the right and not trying to puncture my lung with your elbow I'd appreciate it greatly."

Sephiroth obligingly shifted which of course caused another uncomfortable predicament involving his knee and Zack's face.

"Phepherroph!" Came the muffled exclamation from the knee in the face.

"Sorry Zack but it is a little cram-aahhhh!" Sephiroth began before the entire section of the duct came loose and fell through the ceiling leaving a stunned heap of Soldiers on the floor covered with drywall dust and on top of a flattened air duct section.

Angeal shook his head in an effort to clear it before looking up to see Reno looking frantic run by the door followed by what sounded like a herd of elephants.  
"Uh, guys I think we should wisely follow Reno and RUN!" Angeal said before scrambling to his feet followed by the others and running out the door taking a sharp right following the fleeing Turk.

A few twists and turns through the corridor and out an open window later found four soldiers and a Turk hanging 20 stories above the ground off a window sill as the fan girls rushed by taking no notice of outside. The group of four slowly made their way to a nearby balcony which turned out to be Rufus Shinra's balcony. Rufus, Tseng, Rude, and Cissnei were barricaded in the room when the four came in. Rufus looked up eyes wide and asked a simple question that was all to true.

"They after you guys too?"

The statement got affirming nods before a loud thud followed by feminine cursing that defiantly wasn't a fan girl. Rufus blinked before nodding to Tseng and Cissnei who opened the door after Rude and Reno aimed their guns at it. Through the door rushed in the three new secretaries that were hired last week before the door was slammed shut and barricaded once more.

"Does this happen every year?" Asked the secretary with waist length ice blue hair pulled into a high ponytail her name according to her name tag was Crystal.  
"If it does then I see why they hired us." Piped up the pink haired girl whose name appeared to be Rose.

"It's a good thing we know how to fight off attackers." A third cut in cracking her neck as she did, her name tag said Shakira.

The three were wearing the average Shinra Secretary uniform which consisted of a black pencil skirt and white top and a black waist coat like jacket over top and black high heels. Their jackets were missing, their shirts untucked, they were barefoot, and their skirts were slit up the sides showing a pair of black short underneath each one.

"We had to fight three floors to get up here," Crystal said absent mindedly tucking a stray hair behind her ear.  
"And any injured fan girls are not completely our fault it was self defense." Crystal finished her statement.

Rufus who up to this part had been staring at the three girls weirdly burst out laughing.

"I'm sure they are, but yes it's like this every year, it is a usual Shinra Valentines Day." Rufus said after his laughter had died down.

At this point the four soldiers had sat in the corner content to stay out of the way but were in motion the moment a grappling hook latched onto the balcony. Genesis rushed out and sliced the rope before walking inside closing the doors then the curtains and barricading them as well.

"Gentlemen and ladies I believe it's about time make our exit." Genesis said as he barricaded the door.

Cissnei scanned the room looking for possible exits and her eye alighted on the grate at the back of the room on the wall behind the desk.  
"Lets use the air ducts to get out since it's the only other way." Cissnei said pointing to the grate.

A collective groan arose from the Soldiers to the amusement of the secretaries. The group now twice the size of before went over to inspect the grate and determined that it might be a tight fit for rude but they should all manage to fit.

"Us three will go first to make sure there aren't any of the pests in there." Crystal said as she finished tying off her newly braided hair.

With that she took off the grate and, using Zack for a step stool, crawled into the vent followed closely by Shakira and Rose. They crawled for a ways before Rose was sent back out to give a report.

"It should work out fine but unless someone has the Vent system memorized we will need some string and a map of the building." Rose said a thoughtful expression on her face.

"I have the vents memorized and should be able to lead us through them, Yo!" Reno said with a smirk.

Rose nodded and using Zack once again crawled up into the vent followed closely by Reno, Rude (who took a little bit of wriggling to get in), Rufus (who had to lose a few of his suit layers), Tseng, and lastly Cissnei. They crawled quite a distance with directions given by Reno and at last came out in the one place half of them feared, Hojo's lab.

"We should be safe here, from the fan girls at least." Reno said a look of discomfort and anxiousness on his face as if he wanted to bolt out the door and give himself to the fan girls right then and there if only to escape the lab.

A quite cursing arose from Sephiroth and Genesis as they came out of the vent and realized where they were. Angeal took Zack aside and explained to him not to touch anything and not to except anything from Hojo either unless told specifically by Angeal that he could.

The group all made their way to the door and stayed as close to that area as possible determined to wait out the rest of the day in the lab even though half the group thought that the fan girls were better then being in this place.

The day had finally ended and the fan girls had finally left. The group stumbled out of the lab all thoroughly disgusted by Hojo and exhausted. Rufus and the Turks vowed to have a secret escape root created before that time next year and the four soldiers and three secretaries were invited to join them in using it the next year to escape. All in all it had been an exhausting day at Shinra and everyone headed home. Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth all had their rooms on the same floor so they headed back together. When they arrived and opened their doors they were buried under a large pile of Valentine notes and chocolate gifts.

"Figures they shoved all of them under our door BEFORE pursuing us all over the darned building." Genesis said before sneezing due to a particularly feathery Valentine under his nose.

The poor Soldiers spent the next hour digging themselves out and then headed to bed leaving the large mess to the poor janitor. Forgetting as well that they had forgot Zack somewhere in the building and Zack was now being held hostage by the fan girls who were asking him many, many, questions about their favorite Soldiers.

And so yet another Valentines Day at Shinra had passed and poor Reeve once again was in the hospital due to being run over by the fan girls chasing Reno, but all and all the day had turned out pretty well and almost everyone had survived unharmed.

* * *

**Wings: I hope you enjoyed the story. **

***Darkness is going through all the Valentines she got* Geez there are a lot here**

**Rose: why do you think their in a box?**

**Wings: *trying not to laugh* **

***Darkness looks up at Wings* what's so funny?**

**Wings: your liked so well cus you and me are the only ones here who DON'T glomp and or harass our favorite bishies**

***Darkness nods her head and continues looking at all the Valentines***

**Rose: Oh and Everlasting got a few other boxes with ashes in them from valentine cards**

**She's out cold in a corner somewhere**

**Shakira: Hmmm someone should check on her**

**Wings: *looks around the corner when she hears a muffled groan and blinks when she sees a pair of pointy golden shoes coming out of a pile of valentines***

**Rose: omigosh! Did we get an elf?**

**Crystal: nah **

***Shakira turns to Wings* Pointy Golden Shoes...**

**Crystal: Vincent just got a bucket load of valentines**

**Wings: OH CRUD! VINCENT!**

**Rose: We should help him break the hearts of the fan girls... =3**

**Shakira: Sounds like fun Rose**

**Wings: *rushes around the corner and starts digging him out***

**Rose: GET THE FLAMETHROWERS!**

***Shakira now has a flamethrower* Lets Start Burning Stuff**

***Everlasting wakes up and then walks over to help Wings unbury Vincent***

***the camera cuts out and the whoosh of flames is all that heard accompanied by the laughter of Crystal, Axel, and Reno***


End file.
